Current Frustration

I had a moment today where I felt like yelling my heart out. Maybe even crying. I have so much dormant stress and aggression in me just waiting to erupt. Things haven't worked out for me in a length of time, that my hands often tremble just thinking about it. There is nobody to blame, of course, but should I blame myself? I'm a sad person pondering on about how sad my daily life is and how I end up alone with nobody to speak with during the day, followed by the night. I'm going jogging as soon as I am done with this blog...jog blog. Jogging is an extraordinary way to clear your mind and spirit. The clearance is like a detox for the soul, only temporary, which is why I must keep joggin! CONSISTENTLY. Weight lifting also helps. I had several different conversations with my mothers boyfriend tonight. It really seemed like he enjoyed chatting with me because he was actually smiling and laughing (He NEVER smiles and laughs). He is a down to earth dude. I think he is a fair match for my mom, but I don't think I will ever completely trust him. I don't think I will ever completely trust anybody. I wish riding solo didn't seem so difficult. I wish I wasn't such a cry baby. Stupidity is running through my head, and I wish I could run as hard and as fast as I could until I figured out all the answers to all the questions I have! Why do I feel insignificant and inadequate?? Why doesn't love last and why do people even try if it is likely it won't? Being sad sucks and you know you are sad when music makes you even sadder. Is sadder a word? I wouldn't be sad if I didn't want to be. I never want to get emotionally involved with anybody again. This is my second time ever stating that, but I mean it this time. I don't want someone of the opposite sex to make me happy anymore and I'm going to hold onto that belief with everything I have. Love is temporary and is not worth it after it expires. Life is strange and there's not much you can do about it but to believe in things that are true to you and no one else. I'm really hoping I get a call back from an employer. I'll be praying to God before bed from now on until he blesses me with one.